How do I feel? STUCK. I don’t really feel like writing about how I’m stuck. Actually, I’m just tired of writing. What do I want to feel? The opposite of what I was just writing! I have some ideas for art. I want to feel the flow state of my art, but I don’t know how to get there…
Ok. Let’s pretend I know! First step – pick something to do. Annnnddd… now I feel stuck again.
So I just need to go for it – I need to go to my art shelf. Which is messy. And now I’m starting to feel the overwhelm looking at the mess. OK. Remember – what do I want to feel? GOT IT! Now I need a certain kind of paper – which was in the car. I don’t have that kind of motivation…
Ok. So what else can I use? All these other papers wont work. Printer paper – too thin… OK CREATIVITY… where are you?! Remember how I want to feel… Oh – that’s an idea!
So what old art do I have that I could add to? Or reinvent? What’s this word collage from last year? Looks minimalist. I could add some stickers.
Interesting… I feel better emotionally this year than I did at this time last year. Hmm. That’s something. And I’m feeling better now than I did a few minutes ago. I’m finding my flow. And I’m finding these words from last year – the poem reads:
“Whoever you are
No matter how lonely
The world goes on
Look at the flowers
I am not sorry when sun and rain make April
It’s April – yes April my darling
It’s Spring!
I close my wings – I close my wings
Open my wings
White, black and brown
‘Wildflower Wheaty’
I’m home”
Artist Statement
There are a few important elements in this poem that I want to share about. There’s a special secret word in the poem. The word is “Wheaty” and the special secret is that is the nickname of my beloved dog Poppy!
Poppy is the reason I have not ended up in the hospital this year. Poppy is nonjudgmental and she is my home. She’s also very food motivated and loves to vacuum and mop all the floors.
“With Poppy by my side
My power is limitless
I am capable of creativity
One step at a time”
Opening my wings represents me opening my heart to April. Even if it’s not how I want it to look right now. It might be rainy and chilly and I might feel lonely and sad, but the world still goes on. I won’t feel this way forever. One of the few constants in this world is that my feelings and my situations will change. And if I choose to look at it this way – that can be freeing.
